It's been awhile

So, I have finally reverted back to blogspot because I found xanga a bit too bland. It's really hard to find a layout on xanga and being the minimalist that I am, it proved even harder to find a simplistic layout. First off, I have decided to keep all the previous posts as notorious as they were. Second, i'm more mature now and know that it is not really the smartest thing to blog about others, though they assume that I am. Finally, everything that I post on here is my own expression, respect it or not, I have the right to blog about my own opinions and thoughts if they do not oppose or go against the Libel Laws.

Anyways, life has been very chaotic lately. My mood especially suffered from the amounts of homework and stress that I am dealt with on a daily basis. This past week, I have shuffled through many stages from happy to sad; it's a bit manic. I am really glad that it is Friday because there has been a cross country meet, tests, and even a Spanish project. Junior year is seriously starting to become formidable but I know that I can overcome it. My lovelife is pretty much nonexistent because I choose not to look anymore. The guys and girls that I go for always seem to disappoint me one way or another. Granted, their imperfections are significantly magnified because of my high standards but the point is I am probably not going to find a relationship anytime soon.

I am currently at home and my mom has gone to New York, which is great because there has been so much tension between her and I. I have seven periods of school and after rigorous cross country practice and on occasional Thursdays, meets. After all the mental and physical workouts I am completely drained. Exhaused. Sluggish. Moody. So when I get home I immediately try to avoid all conflict, but ultimately my mom and I collide. She's always craving attention which I try to negate everything else. I just want to shower, eat, and do homework. She wants me to shower, talk to her, eat, talk to her, do homework, share my life's storys, sleep, and talk to her. I seriously do not want to talk to her. I really don't feel comfortable talking to her just because her perception is very biased and structured on this self-supremecy. And even though she has admitted that she 'fully' accepts me, deep down inside I don't buy it. Everytime I talk about boys she tries to change the subject, choosing flight over fight. But when I talk about girls she is all over the subject. It's whatever though. I seriously think that we deserve this break, to melt the tension.